This is the best time to do this I think. Pick up where we left off. Blogging, writing, procrastinating (you and I both know I don’t know really what that means). This is a new chapter of life, a new start. Not that what I was living was bad and I NEED a new start. It is however, a new start. Starting a new job, starting new friendships, starting a new social experiment really.

Leaving home was hard. All day I’ve been quiet but not thought too much into things, now I’m walking out the door and my throat feels like an adder has a grip on my wind pipe. It’s tight and burns. My ears burn as well, you won’t think of that being a side effect of tears but next time you find your self trying to stop your self from blubbering, take a moment to think ‘fuck my ears are hot’. It might even make you deter from crying.

It’s hard saying bye to your parents, it’s a strange good bye. I’m sure ill see them in two weeks time when I visit home, so it’s not a good bye for ever, like how it would be with a cheating girlfriend or fired colleague. It’s a deceleration of “thank you for my childhood, I’ve had an amazing time” (at least it was for me, and it feels like I’ve been punched in the stomach).

I know there is so much future for me, future which I’ve managed to fall onto the path of (which is unheard of by the way) and I’m excited, scared shitless, but excited.

I’ve got such great friends, who are proud of me and as excited as I am to see where I end up. Also the most amazing girlfriend who, I know, is there to go through thick and thin with me.

Goodbye the comfort of home, I took you for granted but know how great you were.

Hello, cold, hard world…come at me bro!

James Gordon…..now staring in the re-make of Big. This is a Pre-Australia tux.

So that’s what my girlfriend thinks of the short-sleeved shirts….

Just me and my little friend hanging in the new Forrest!

so I’m running through Harlestone Forrest and this appears infront of me….I was looking down so the sound hit me first. Needless to say I nearly shit my self (nearly was originally auto corrected to neatly, there would have been nothing neat about it!

Not 500, not even a week, a day.

Yet here we are, out in our thousands in t-shirts, shorts and flip flops. If theres one thing i learnt from my travels in Australia (yes i did cringe writing that) its that they think we’re mad for being so easily turned by some sun. I knew people out there who wouldnt go near out door water unless it hit 28*C, i’ve been to Hunstanton and entered the sea when the temperature was 20*C, purely because it was ‘warm’. We do love to go mad for the 3 days of summer we have each year. i can see you criticise already…’oh you said one day…’ well those three days are spread over 4 damn months which we call summer.

I still partook in the summer activities. I put on sun glasses. They were too big for my face, I still wore them. It was either too big or too small so I went big. I figured that the worse that could happen with them was that nobody would recognise me due to not being able to see the detail on my face. If anything i got paranoid that people were concentrating too heavily on my face. Ohh the pains of being ridiculously good looking on such a summers day.

p.s. my man boobs were very apparent today. the t-shirt was clearly too tight.

Get on this great cover from Cousin Avi of the Number One from Rita Ora.

This is the blog in which I turn things around a bit. I’ve given you a few video blogs now and I’m sure that they’ve given you pleasure in one way or another, if not through my humour then through a boost to your self-confidence knowing there is someone out there more desperate than yourself to be funny. Things need to change and that comes with a new blog. In fact I’m thinking a website. A website that combines videos, writing, one liners, funny articles and just something for you to look at if you’re bored. Others have done it before me, so why not. That’s in the pipe line though, it will come but for now you’ll have to put up with Tumblr and Blogger.

Today is an odd day, a day in which I’m feeling enlightened and motivated. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Maybe it’s because I’ve become complacent. Maybe it’s because I’ve become distracted, by beautiful people, funny people and one beautiful, funny person particular, however it doesn’t mean I can get lazy. I came back from Australia happier…. Some would even say ‘funnier now’, yet i am still to prove it which is why this needs to occur.

The reason I’ve become more motivated is through my father. A month ago he sat me down and told me to stop drinking chocolate milk. I know what you’re thinking ‘it’s hardly heroine’. Well to a man who has recently lost 2 stone it’s as good as. I was drinking 3 bottles of chocolate milk (from a higher brand of super market) a week. The calorie intake of a single bottle is enough to kill a small kitten and if not kill it give it a deadly case of diabetes. The old man said to me “you need to stop drinking that or you’ll put weight back on”, I stopped. I haven’t had a drop in about a month now. (queue round of applause)

Well today his wisdom rose it’s head once again, like a vicious yet honest cobra. Spitting out harsh truths like burning acid. It boiled down to how he doesn’t like seeing me frustrated with no work and no creativity. It made me think, it made me write a list (a standard reaction nowadays. Well for all you list haters, fuck you! Lists are the way forward, putting all the things you need to do in one place apart from your head…great)

So things are going to change. I’m going to start writing more. You’ll still see my little face every so often (that’s for the lazy ones) but writing will take dominance, I think, I say it will, I don’t know if it will for sure. It will hopefully be on a range of things, my life, films, television, comedy, music, popular culture. I’ll keep you posted.

(any ideas for a snappy sign off???)

James

I’m currently sat with an incredible head ache. I think I could be forming some sort of cold, one of those that starts right in the pits of your eyes and slowly moves into your throat. I therefore felt there was a great need to write a blog post.

It’s been ages since I’ve written a decent blog entry, I’ve gotten lazy and started using a video capturing device to dictate my opinions. There’s something quite nice about writing though, something more peaceful, something with more meaning. I’m going off on a tangent.

What to talk about. The weathers been odd. One minute it’s freezing the next it’s warm. Raining cats and dogs (i’ll come back to that) then it’s nice and sunny. Anyone would think we’ve got some sort of problem with the atmosphere and that the globe is warming. Oh no, we have got a problem with that, however Steve Mowbray is the man to speak to about that. I’m the man to come to if laughter is more your deal. The environment is very important though, I just don’t know enough to warrant me talking about it.

Raining Cats And Dogs.

I’m going to do some research on this and see where the saying comes from. Who ever said it first must have been a poet or scholar. There is no way on this earth that a commoner who sold sheep at the local Market coined this term. If he was stood just inside a barn with 3 other farms and went;

“it’s raining cats and dogs out there”

The other guys would go;

“just shut the fuck up Dave, with your stupid comments about the weather like the other week when you said it’s blowing LIKE Gail. Everyone thinks your an idiot.”

However, and yes, I’m setting the scene again, think of a Victorian manner house with scholars and their wives sat eating boiled goose and fried toad with buttered crumpets (Victorian food lovers will understand this reference). They would love a metaphor like that. As a elderly gentlemen with a beard, a brandy and a golden retriever by his knee, lowers the glass from his lips as he quietens the crowd around him and declares;

“it’s raining cats and dogs out there”

Everyone would look at each other and either just nod to concur or applaud him.

So yeah it must be from the higher end of society. I’ll do some research on that.

So there you go, the first written rant in quite a while. Ahhh, it feels like going for a run after a break of a month, burns the lungs and stings the nostrils.

Peace and Love for now Jowlers.

James